• Preeth C.Vijay

Perfect relationship doesn’t exist!! Happy Relationship do!!!

Being in a relationship filled with love for one another is absolutely fine. But whats your take on being in a “Healthy and Happy Relationship” with your spouse. Walking hands together on a misty morning, grabbing one’s hand on a dinner night across the table, the moment of tossing yourself and pulling your spouse closer towards you middle of the night, the surprise gifts, those sneaky visits amidst office hours all these might sound romantic or probably speak out love towards your spouse in a more dramatic way. But wait!!

I understand admiring or loving your spouse with all your heart happens much naturally. But the important lesson here is not losing the balance in your life. That includes you and your spouse. Even too much of love showered (or read it as “in the name of love”) can sometimes make you feel toxic and might destroy your inner peace.

It’s definitely the most beautiful thing to get lost in love and to love someone. But are we forgetting that we have a life outside of our relationship? Are we trying to keep our spouse under control in the name of love? I have seen people taking control over their spouse after marriage. How much ever we love someone, no one has an obligation to give themselves completely losing their individuality. Love is more than being toxic and destructive behaviors. Relationships happen with the hope that either of them believe that the other person will make their life better.

The so called “SPACE” is needed in every relationship. That’s what genuine love is. Love is actually about letting the other person happy in their own space at times and you being an added bonus in their life. There is no such thing as perfect relationship. But certain efforts from our side makes a relationship happier.

What should you actually do? And what is too much to expect from your spouse?

Compromise really is essential for marriage. No, everything isn’t going to go your way every time. You won’t win every argument and you certainly won’t always get your voice heard all the time. When you have an argument, look at each situation and ask yourself, is it worth the fight? Is the outcome worth the aggravation and heartache it’ll cause? If not, take a breath and take some moment.

But not everything works when you try to disconnect yourself fearing an argument. Talk to your spouse after a while. Tell your spouse with your heart wide open what you feel and how you feel suffocated with certain things. Every situation doesn’t deserve an argument, but every argument needs a clarification so that your spouse would at least take a moment to understand what you need.

Sacrificing for the happiness of your spouse is extremely good. But it should never be a one-way traffic. Once your spouse happens to be the sole receiver of your sacrifice, he or she might get used to it. Overtime they might take advantage over it. Respect each other’s interest and feeling. Be empathetic. Listen to your spouse.

With all these going around, take control over your individuality, because losing yourself in marriage just means you are losing yourself the rest of your life. Perfection is a cliche, but happiness exists right there, take charge over it. Nobody creates happiness for you unless you start it.

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